Patient Zero

This month’s blog was intended to cover the Art of the Difficult Conversation. When I began writing, I was primarily focused on internal conversations managers and employees would have regarding performance, feedback, or terminations. Considering the current state in our very small feeling world, I would say that we are all struggling to master difficult conversations, but they are much more personal. If you’re like me, many conversations are taking place first with yourself. 

These are highly unusual - turbulent times - riddled with a constant stream of change, information overload, uncertainty, and yes, panic. How quickly our very ordered, predictable lives have given way to restricted abilities, access, and loss of control. We are checking in with the news, the COVID-19 daily counts, and local and national closures. The question is how much are we checking in with ourselves? 

I’m embarrassed to say, I did not follow, nor fully grasp the true impact of COVID-19; in fact, I maintained a healthy antidotal knowledge of its progress, that is, until it became evident this was going to impact our borders. Then I paid attention. Careful attention. Last week as schools closed, shelves cleared, and trips were cancelled, the reality of the situation hit and I certainly sat up and dialed in. 

In the past week, I’ve had difficult conversations as all of us have. I’ve explained why trips were cancelled, that we’re uncertain about when school will resume (if it will), why we’re going to what seems to be such lengths to ‘flatten the curve’ – and what ‘flattening the curve’ actually means. I’ve discussed layoffs with clients and tried to understand if there is any relief to be found for employees and small business employers alike so that doors that have been closed temporarily do not remain closed permanently.  I’ve had to introduce social distancing with my now work-from-home husband for his safety. He’s woefully outnumbered in the house and although my husband loves his ‘kitchen office’, he’s been relegated to a quieter place to hold his 14 conference calls a day. 

Some of the difficult conversations I’ve had though is with myself. I am trying to regularly check in and ensure I’m grounded through this event. I can always find compassion and empathy in scenarios I am accustomed to such as helping a client navigate challenging decisions that impact their employees. Where I’ve needed to check in with myself is because of these new situations, where I find myself reacting; getting irritated when I can’t find chicken breasts, shocked and angry when shelves have been cleared, sad when my gym closes, and my flights have been cancelled. The conversation goes a little something like this:  ‘Christine, really. Breathe. Uncertain times, uncertain circumstances. Everyone is feeling this differently. If the worst part of your day is no fresh blueberries, count yourself damn lucky, breathe, and get over yourself. Pivot and move on.’   

There is a challenging conversation to be had with ourselves through this crisis. In fact, there are several.  First is to understand how you’re feeling about this and give yourself permission to actually have feelings about this!  It IS scary and uncertain. When you better understand yourself, you have more opportunity to be compassionate and understanding with how others are reacting and responding which will allow you to be more present and aware. When this happens, we bring our best ‘giving’ selves — open, and ready to help and participate — in a genuine way. That may simply be to stay calm at the check-out line to delivering groceries to seniors, to donating to the food bank, or supporting a struggling small business to stay afloat.

But first off, take care of yourself and check in daily.  Be honest with yourself and ask the tough questions: ‘How am I managing? ‘What do I need for myself today?’ ‘Can I find the humour and joy in an otherwise surreal situation?’ ‘Did I really eat that whole tub of ice cream?’ We are much more powerful to contribute to the world when we do so from a place of being whole. We will get through this, but it needs to be together. 

“We can’t be brave in the big world without at least one small safe space to work through our fears and falls.” – Brene Brown, Rising Strong.

Recruitment Practices (Friend or Foe?)

I’ve spent all month focusing on talent; where to find it, how to attract it, how to identify it, and how to retain it. I believe most leaders would agree this is one of the trickiest and most essential practices of any successful business.

I’ve also spent the month listening to a variety of oh-so-talented, dedicated, loyal, hardworking, innovative, and creative people talk about how frustrating, scary, and ‘hopeless’ it feels when looking for a job. I have one daughter applying for her first ‘real’ part-time job; scared to hand out her newly minted resume. I have another who is starting her search for her first career job, feeling woefully underqualified and insignificant. Another person close to me has found a career change merely impossible; struggling to find their life’s work to be even seen as valuable. We’ve all heard it and probably most of us have experienced one or all of these lines; ‘not enough experience’, ‘too much experience’, ‘not the right experience’. The rejection, self-doubt, confidence kicker, and soul sucking processes of recruitment are brutal on a person.

I’ve had amazing people (and I truly mean really wickedly talented) share their stories of being treated terribly at the hands of their employer. People who have turned themselves inside out to do a great job, exceed expectations, and crush goals. Let me reiterate; these are employees; not entrepreneurs; their extra miles are given for more than just themselves.

And on the employer side, there is the ‘misfire’ hires; people who misrepresent themselves, their skills, or abilities to get the job simply don’t exist. Perhaps using the adage ‘fake it to you make it’ is taken too literal. The devastation this type of ‘mishire’ can have on a team or leader is tremendous. It creates mistrust, cynicism of recruiting, and can result in introducing a way too strenuous, rigorous recruitment process, to protect them from ‘being duped again’. It puts the bar so high that the expectation for a new hire needs to be legendary, that of ‘unicorn’ status. ‘Well thanks Karen, you’ve ruined it for all of us.’

So, it would seem we have an untameable beast in our friend Recruitment where neither candidate nor employer is satisfied. And how do we change that?

Let’s work backwards: The goal of an employer is to find a great candidate who works well within the team and organization, understands and shares the goals and vision of the company, and is talented, motivated, qualified and engaged. The goal of a candidate is to find a company whose goals and vision align with theirs - offering rewarding work and experiences - with a team they like and respect within a safe environment and earn a wage that is reflective of their talents. Meh! Super easy right?

Well, when we strip away all the bullshit, it is called fit. Fit. Fit. Fit. Understanding and searching for fit means both parties need to have a clear understanding of what a person will need in order to be successful within a company. Then (and here’s the scary, vulnerable part!) be honest, open, and transparent with that information with the other party. In short, if you really don’t know your WHY, it’s hard for the employer/candidate to determine if they’d fit into your Why.

Authentic conversations, candid and accurate postings reflecting the gig and your company’s culture, and asking questions to discover if you (or they) will fit your environment is the first step. Finding fit far exceeds letters behind a name, and countless certifications. Fit means a person will be willing to train, ask questions, and go above and beyond because they will be invested, engaged, and belong.

So let’s bring the human element back into recruiting. Seriously. Let’s shed the unnecessary, roll up our sleeves, look each other in the eye and actually speak, talk, converse and learn from each other; person to person.